Damn Dogs

Dear Readers,

I recently moved into an apartment. I love my apartment. It may be shitty. It may be one of the worst places I have lived. And it might remind me of a hotel, which is alright. The only difference between my apartment and a hotel is that there are no maids, no room service, I have to make my own bed, and there are dogs.
I hate dogs. I have never liked dogs. While all of the young girl were obsessed with puppies and had their cute little dog posters, I became a fan of pigs. I have never liked dogs.
When people ask me why I am not really sure what to say to them. I have been thinking recently and I now have the top five reasons I hate dogs.
1. They smell. Dogs can't bath themselves. They can't take showers, so of course they have no hygiene. They don't smell good unless their owners bath them, and truth be told they do not do that nearly enough. As a result of their lack of bathing, they always smell. Dogs get into more crap then humans, but we shower ever day. Why don't they? They always smell awful. Especially wet dogs. Agghh... I shudder just thinking about it.
2.  They piss and shit everywhere. I was walking home today and I saw a dog just take a crap on a lawn and then the owner and the dog just walked away. Really?!?!?! I don't want to see human pull down their pants and take a good long piss on a wall so why would I want to see a dog do that? It's honestly ridiculous!!! It is gross! I don't want to smell your dogs shit, so pick it up or toilet train them!
3.  They are noisy. Have you ever been sitting enjoying the quiet, and then out of no where some damn dog barks and whines and you are no longer happy? It happens to me all the time. I can hear the yippy dog three apartment down, and it just ruins my day.
4. They ruin conversations and are extremely distracting. Okay here is another situation for you. You are standing outside having a nice conversation with someone and then a dog goes by. They stop what they are saying and look at the damn dog. That takes about three minutes. Three minutes of lost conversation. Three minutes of watching someone freak out over a damn dog that isn't even cute. Damn dogs.
5. They are ugly. No matter how many people tell me that dogs are cute I will never agree. They are ugly, and that's all there is to it.
So fuck dogs. I hate them, and now you know why.
Lindsey