Dancing in the Rain

Dear Readers,

"I was worried about getting wet, but then I said fuck it and danced in the rain."

I have a new life motto, dear readers, and that is it. I feel as if it is one of the only good things I have ever written or thought of (along with my poem "Life like mirrors, is hard and unforgiving.") Please don't dis my new motto. It may not be the most literary work of genius, but it is wonderful to me.
To explain my new life motto I need to start out with why it means so much to me. Today I graduated from high school. I am now officially done with high school. I walked across the "stage" (gym floor), shook some unknown mans hand, and received my diploma. I am done!! High school has been fun, but I am ready to move on. The next chapter of my life is beckoning me. The pull is so strong that I almost want to scream. I want to be done with high school and this life and some of my friends and everything, but I feel like high school is pulling down by the ankles. While my bright shiny future is out ahead of me I sit around fretting about useless shit that I should not care about. I have been so worried about what people think of me, what I think of others, what feelings I have towards others, and their feelings towards me. I  haven't realized that none, and I mean none, of this shit matters.
Let me just say, feelings are a bitch. When you think you have everything figured out the come into your heart and cause ruckus. They leave a nasty trail of regrets and fears that cause you to worry. What if he likes me? What if I like him? What if she likes him? What does what he said mean? Does it mean anything? I am sending double meanings?
Well you know what NONE of it matters. It doesn't! I am done with high school, I am done with these people, and I done with these feelings. Those bitches can just leave me alone. I need to stop worrying about what others and myself do and say.
And I have been telling myself that. I have been repeating the mantra L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N  in my head for the past few months, but it didn't hit me till today. It didn't hit me till I really stopped caring about something. Till I stopped worrying about getting wet and danced in the rain. It may sound foolish to you, but it stuck a chord in my heart. It made me stop and think. I need to stop worrying. I get wet, oh well clothes dry. I don't need to run to my back door to keep out of the rain. I dry. It will be okay. It is one thing to say you don't care and act like you don't care, but it is another thing completely to not actually care. To not worry about anything.
You know it feels good. It feels good to be done with high school. To be done with the people. To be done worrying. It feels so fucking fantastic to look at a situation and not have to worry about it. It may be as simple as not caring if you get wet. It may be as complex as your feelings towards a person of the opposite gender. Yet some how the complexity of the issue plays no part in how good it feels to not care. Hopefully some day, dear readers, you find this feeling. I wish with all of my heart that you stumble upon the same realization. I hope you can dance in the rain, with no one watching, no cares, and no regrets.
Your apathetic friend,
Lindsey

Happy and Productive?

Dear Readers,

I have been strangely productive today. Since I am not in school any more I would like to sit around and do nothing. I would love to sleep in late everyday, but for some reason my body has a different plan. I work up at 6:30 for some unknown reason. I took a shower, ate breakfast, made cupcakes, cleaned the kitchen, folded some laundry, and posted on my other blogs all before 11. At 11 I had a strange whim and went on a walk.
Last night I started reading a book for a book club I am in (which is meeting tomorrow and the 400 page book has to be finished tomorrow, by the way). It is called the Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl. I am liking it, but I am relating to it way to much. It is also making me want to go out and exercise and eat healthy. I am not so sure I like the affects of this book on me. So that is were the strange walking whim came from.
Also for some reason I have been filled with reckless abandonment this week. I am not sure if it is because I am done with high school and I want to push everything into this chapter of my life that I can. Or if I am afraid that college won't be any fun. Or if I am sick of being in school all day and now I just want to have fun. But what ever it is, it is kinda weirding me out. 
I am doing things that I normally don't do. Like go for walks for one. I enjoy being outdoors, but normally the bugs and sweatiness throw me off. For some reason though I found some paths at a park, and all I want to do now is be outside at the park.
And tonight I might do something really weird and go sleep on the golf course. For some reason I am filled with the desire to do things on my bucket list and fun things that aren't on my bucket list. So, dear readers, I am not really sure what is going on with me these days but I am acting weird. Hopefully this is only a phase; I don't know if I can be this happy and wistful for the rest of my life. Being as productive as I was today is also not me, so hopefully this doesn't last forever. Otherwise I won't know what to do with myself. Here are a couple unhappy thoughts for you though. Feelings are a bitch, and clean up your dog's crap, even if it is your yard because it smells awful.
So I guess there are somethings that still push my buttons, but I still am very happy, wistful, productive, and fun which is just not me. I will alert you, dear readers, if anything changes.
Lindsey

It's Tulip Time in Holland

Dear Readers,

I am soooooooooo done with school! It feels amazing! I have one week left before gradation. This weekend was my last Tulip Festival! It was fun but stressful and full of yummy fried food!

What is Tulip Festival? 

Well since you asked I will explain this strange tradition of my community. So this is the 72nd Tulip Festival. The 72nd year of musicals, parades, costumes, fried foods, fun times, and swollen feet.

I think I have mentioned it before, but the town I live next to, Orange City, is a very strong Dutch community. Many of the people who live in the town and the surrounding communities are of Dutch heritage.So every year on the third weekend in May Orange City has a Tulip Festival. The town is said to really come alive for those three days. (It is really true because the rest of the year it is really boring.) Each day of the festival has two parades. I march in both parades, so six in total. The band I march in wears wooden shoes when we march. For those of you who live under a rock or are retarded wooden shoes are shoes that are actually made out wood. It is a Dutch tradition. It think that they wore them in the fields because they would keep their feet from getting wet. So now I don't even know how many years later we still wear them. 

Not only does my band march in wooden shoes we wear authentic wool Dutch costumes in the middle of May. The uniforms are 50 years old. Hooray for 50 year old pit stains!! 

Besides being in the parades, I am part of a singing group called the Dutch Dozen. The Dutch Dozen also know as the Goodwill ambassadors for the community of Orange City was established in 1948 by the late great Mrs. Nottebaum.Because Dutch girls are known mainly for their pointed hats we choose to wear the authentic costume of Volendam. We add our own special touch by wearing bright orange shoes. Our accompanist is Mary Reinders. Our directors are Melody DeWitt, Julie Junke, Sharon Foughty, and Brande Pals. (That was the welcome in case you were wondering.)

So the Dutch dozen is basically just awesome. We sing, dance, and look cute. It is pretty legitimate. We do three half an hour performances a day. 10:30 11:30 and 4:00. We also wear wooden shoes for that. Our shoes for the show are bright orange because for a few songs we use black lights. Our apron which are mostly white, our hats, our shoes, and our brightly colored props look very nice with the black lights. 

Besides band and Dutch Dozen, I was in the night show this year. Every year the has been a different musical as the night show for Tulip Festival. This year it was My Fair Lady. Which is my favorite musical!!!!! So I tried out and made it as a street chorus member. Which was totally awesome and super fun! The show starts at 8 and normally runs till 11:30. 

So I arrived in Orange City at about 9:30 to get ready for Dutch Dozen and stayed until midnight. So I haven't slept much this weekend. Also being my last Tulip Festival I decided to have some fun and do some stuff after night show. Fun but not very wise decision... 

My feet are now swollen from wearing wooden shoes all day. Normally they do not hurt, but I had a shitty pair for band this year. So my feet killed from marching so it hurt to wearing my normal wooden shoes. That was not fun. 

Even though I am not Dutch the tradition of Tulip Festival has become a part of me, and it is sad to kiss it good bye. But there is soon to be a new chapter in my life. Next year I am hopefully going to culinary school. The drama, mean things said, and blisters will be long gone. I will miss this tradition, but I happy to be done. These bitter sweet occasions are so hard to handle. This chapter of my life is coming to a quick close, and as much as I want it to be done I want to savor of word till the end. I will miss the hot long days, the late nights at the musical, the funny pranks in Dutch Dozen, the tourist taking millions of pictures, the amazing fired food, the even more amazing authentic Dutch food, and yes I will even miss my wooden shoes. 

So next year on the third weekend in May when those wooden shoes are not coming out again my heart may cry out for the wooden shoes and happy hearts I once knew. It will be tulip time in Holland, and tulips will be calling me. I will long to tip toe threw the tulips once more. Some how I will survive. Some how I will smile. But for now I can do nothing but grimace with every painful swollen step. 

Lindsey 

ONE DAY MORE!!!!!!!!!

Dear Readers,

I am so CLOSE!!!!! I have ONE DAY MORE!!!!!!!!
This will probably be my last blog post from my lap top. I am sad that I am losing it. It feels like just yesterday I was at the assembly to get learn about proper care. I will miss you laptop!!!
But on a happier note. I have one day of high school left!!
Then I am so done with that hell hole!!
For graduation the senior choir members are singing One Day More from Le Mis, and I feel it is very appropriate for today. There is one day more. I of course will not be going into a revolution. Tomorrow I will not be marching to war.
But there is one day more before the rest of my life. I still have a couple weeks till I officially graduate, but once I leave that school tomorrow I am done with classes and grades and homework and all of the worry that high school entails.
I have one more day till the end of a chapter of my life. One more day till everything changes. After tomorrow we will discover what our God in Hevean has in store. One more dawn. One day more!
One more band practice. One more study hall. One more school lunch. One more 3:15. One more day.
I recomended the song One Day More for our senior song because we really have one day more. One day more till we are off on our own. One day more till we are forced to grow up. One more day till we go off into the world and discover what we are meant to do.
Yes, we do literally have more than one day. But this summer will go by in the blink of an eye. We have limited time till we leave.
This moment holds so much joy and sadness for me. I can't wait the leave all of these idiots that I hate, but I will miss the idiots that I actually like.
Currently I am just in a state of happiness mixed with a little sadness. But mostly I am so glad to be done soon. I am estatic. Overjoyed. Chipper. Cheerful. Thrilled. Jubilant. On Cloud Nine. Jolly. Delighted. Elated. Merry. Gay. Joyful. Peppy. Perky. Sprakling. Walking on Sunshing.
I am just so HAPPY!!!!!!!!!
So sorry I am not my normal angry, demeaning self. But somedays just make you want to smile!! And today is surely one of them.
ONE DAY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lindsey

Gradumacation Times

Dear Readers,

I just got back from a senior awards night. Yeah...............
Don't get me wrong I am SUPER EXCITED to graduate and to be DONE with school in 3 days, but these three days might kill me (or result in me killing someone.)
There are just many things around the gradumacation times that confuse me.
First. I assume that if you are going to college to be an English teacher you would know how to put things in alphabetical order. But maybe I ask to much of people. They always a super lame ass senior "video", which is really just a slide show of senior and baby picture put to really shitty music. Well my last name is near the end of the alphabet, but I am not that last person in my grade. There is a girl with the last name Woodard. My last name is Wohlgemuth, and should go in front of Woodard. But was I in front on Miss Woodard. No I was not. I was last. It is not that fact that I am last the puts my knickers in a twist; it is the fact that someone who should know who to use the alphabet got it wrong.
Second thing that pushes my buttons is the focus on sports in school. If you are not in sports in my school you are nothing. You basically don't exist. I applied for one scholarship for going into a vocational study, and I basically didn't get this award because the two girls that received it participated in sports. I am actually going into a vocational study. Culinary school in a vocational school. Going to a community college to get your nursing degree is not a vocational study. The girls who received the scholarship are nice girls, and this is not saying anything mean about them. I want to say something to that people who awarded that scholarship and many others, sports are not life. I exemplify the moral standards our school holds just as much as the people in sports. So dear reader if you ever have to award high school kids anything try and remember us speech nerds, band geeks, and quiz bowlers when you are deciding. Sports do not make you better then anyone else.
Third. Not everyone is special. I think I have said this before, but mostly everyone is average. C is an average grade, and if most people are average then they should be getting C's. There were so many people at the awards night who are graduating with honors. It makes the honor less of an honor. But hey I can not change the system and I am DONE in 3 days so whatever!
Read this and it will make you feel so much better about life. Oh, the Places You'll Actually Go. READ IT!!!! READ IT!!!!!
So feel better about yourself and graduating if you are graduating.
Lindsey

FOUR FREAKING DAYS

Dear Readers,

I have FOUR days left of high school. FOUR DAYS FOUR DAYS FOUR DAYS FOUR DAYS FOUR DAYS FOUR DAYS FOUR DAYS FOUR DAYS FOUR DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you couldn't tell by my exclamation points I am a little excited! I have spent four years in that hell hole and I am so excited to be done!!
FOUR DAYS!!!
I can't wait to be done!!
Of course I will miss my friends and my favorite teachers and some of my activities. But I want to be DONE!! I am sooooooooo close!!! So close to being done!!!
I just wanted to freak out about that for a little!! FOUR DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so close!
Well go on enjoying your life, even it isn't as awesome as mine because I have 4 days left of high school!
Lindsey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Goal and Music Recomendation

Dear Readers,
I have 7 days left of school!!!!!!!!! HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 7 DAYS!!!!
I am just a little excited, but I have been getting lazy. I need to stop this. I have two more project and two more papers to write. So I am a little busy...
But I have decided to stop complaining about how much I have to do. We will see how long this last, but I really need to stop complaining. I will still complain about stupid things people do because I have no tolerance for that, but I complaining about my homework is not making me do it any faster. It is actually making me do it slower. And it probably annoys everyone.
I am going to be honest here. I used to think that I wasn't very annoying, but this year I am even annoying myself. I complain all of time. Of course complaining makes for a good blog, but complaining does not make good friends. Apparently people do not like complaining all of the time. So I need to stop this or you, dear readers, will be my only friends. Not that that is bad, but considering I don't even know you it wouldn't be very good.
So here is my goal. Stop complaining for the last 7 days of school and just get my shit done, so that once I am done I can enjoy what I have done!!
Good plan!
Well we shall see if that actually happens, but I will surely try. So if you hear me complain about how much I have to do in the next week slap me. (Internet slap me because I don't want to tell you where I live so that you can actually slap me.) Please help me keep my goal. I really need to keep moral up for these last few days.
I am so close. So close!!!
So I should go do that things that I have to do and not complain about them. So I guess this is goodbye for today. Quick I want to tell you to listen to B.o.B. Normally I do not like rap, but this man is amazing!! The song bombs away has been repeating while I typed today! This song is the best. Morgan Freeman does an intro and outro, and Morgan Freeman is the man. So listen to it right now.

As the mask of deception falls off the face of humanity
Unveiling the grim reality of duality
In which everyone is a casualty, no one will be exempt
Truth has many shades
It's not a matter of black and white, but gray
Although many, we are one, so in the final analysis
Could it be that we are fighting a war that can't be won?

These are the end lyrics. Aren't they just amazing!?!!?
Yeah so that was random, but listen to it!!
So adios have a good life and if you are close to the end school try to stay motivated with.
Lindsey

FOLLOW DIRECTIONS!!!!!!!!!

Dear Readers,
I have a few thoughts tonight, but I shall only bore you with one of them.
I just got back from my last high school concert ever. I don't really feel sad. More happy that soon I will be done!! It doesn't matter that I have no clue what I am doing next year, or that I really just haven't tried to figure it out. I will be done with school in 11 days!!!! HOORAY!!!! You have no idea how good this feels. Who cares that I have one project, one paper, and one presentation to do! I am almost done!!
So back to the concert. I also became extremely annoyed at this concert. Why, you may ask. Following directions.
How hard it is to wear black and white when you are told to? The directors are not asking them to stop sucking (because they haven't), to be on time (because they never are), or to stop talking while others are preforming (because they never shut up). The one thing they tell us at the beginning of the year is that you wear a white top, black bottom, and solid black shoes to the concerts. I cannot understand how this is hard. If you saw some of the items of clothing that people deem okay, you would be with me on this.
Follow directions people!! It is not that hard to go out and find solid black shoes. They have them at Walmart. Get off your lazy ass drive for 15 minutes to the nearest Walmart and get yourself a pair of solid black shoes. Solid black does not mean black lace with gray underneath. Also flip flops! Why are flip flops even considered shoes? They are not shoes. Nor will they ever be shoes. Wear something on your feet that actually provides protection to your toeies. It is not that hard. I really think that you have enough intelligence to accomplish that, but maybe I should not assume things to quickly.
Also wear a shirt that doesn't show all of your cleavage. Not everyone wants to look down your blouse the whole night. Modest is hottest. If you look like a whore then you probably are one. Also be aware of the amount of make up you put on your face. If you look like a bad Halloween costume of Snooki then you might want to wash a little of that plaster off your face. Again if you look like a hooker you might just be one. And high school concerts are not the place to look like a hooker.
Here is a good tip when wearing a uniform. You are not trying to look attractive, you are trying to look the same as everyone else. They are not trying to crush you individuality, they are simply trying to make things more professional. If you are ruining that to look "cute" (which is in quotation because most of the time people end up looking like they got dressed in the dark) then you are a self-centered narcissistic person, and you can go die in a hole. For once in your life conform to make everyone else and yourself look better. I know that everyone everywhere has always told you to be your own person. But for this one night can you please stop? Can you please do as you are told? And any other time there is a dress code or a uniform can you please forget about yourself and help everyone look professional?
So please follow directions. You will look less stupid, everyone else will look less stupid. Life will be better. They are not asking you to give up your heart on a platter so they can feed it to their dogs; they are simply asking you to wear the clothes they want. If that is to hard then you might need to be admitted to the hospital for mental problems.
Stop being stupid and follow directions!!!
Lindsey