Great Day

Dear Readers,

So there are some days I wake up and I feel like I need to start in on the Great Day SNL skit song. I know the video is super old, but some days I feel like this.

I feel like I just snorted a shitload of crack and the day is going to be great.
I did not actually snort crack, but after getting a new phone, new glasses, and finding out it's Harry Potter's birthday I was pretty pumped.
Not to mention I went to the movie Moonrise Kingdom last night and it was awesome!!!!!
Also I have 8 days left of work and 15 days till I move!!!
So today has been a pretty great day.
Happy Birthday Harry!
Lindsey

Countdown.

Dear Readers,

I have started a college countdown. I would like to let you know dear readers that there are 17days till I leave.
17 days till I move to a new city.
17 days left of living with my siblings.
17 days left of not having to pay rent.
17 days left of not paying for my food.
17 days.
I am super pumped!!!! So hopefully these last 17 are the shit!
Lindsey

Idiots Say the Darndest Things

Dear Readers,

I have some great quotes for you my friends. These come from some of the idiots that I know, including me...
"So what are Christian hipsters anyway? Jews?" Me
"Rap is like poetry from the ghetto." Me
"I feel like Spiderman, but in the water and with no webs." Tyler Lamm
"Hey I am floating." Tyler Lamm
"Lottie ain't shit" My anonymous friend who shall remain nameless for the purposes of not being known.
"Just bought a new scent of laundry detergent #YOLO" Messy Mondays Guy
"I am in for some rough usage." Brendypoo.

So there are some quotes that you may not understand, but they are funny never the less.
Lindsey

Food

Dear Readers,

I love food.
I love all food.
Food is just amazing. I don't understand how someone could not want to eat. Not only does food keep your body going, it has the potential to taste amazing!
Tonight for supper we had BLTs and corn on the cob. It was probably one of the best suppers I have ever eaten. Simple but tasty. It also contains some of the best food in the world BACON and CORN ON THE COB!!!!!!
I don't think there is a person out there with a soul who doesn't like bacon. If you don't like bacon you are probably going to hell. I am pretty sure Jesus once said that bacon is the way to heaven, right? Bacon probably has magically healing powers. If you are sick eat some and you feel better. If you have a flesh wound rub some bacon on it and feel better. Bacon is amazing. I don't think you could find a better food then bacon. It makes every food better. Salad, baked potatoes, pizza, sandwiches, cookies, everything. Bacon belongs on everything.
Corn on the cob joins this list of the best food in life. The best part is that you can't look good while eating it. You really just have to go for it. Your face will get dirty. There will be kernels flying everywhere. You will end up with things stuck in you teeth. Somehow those add to the awesomeness. You cannot eat sweet corn with out getting dirty. So stop trying to look dignified and proper pull up those sleeves, clamp your teeth down of the cob, and get down to business.
Few food are better on a summer night then bacon and corn on the cob. Actually I don't think it matter what time of day or year those are two of the best foods ever.
Get out there and eat some. Jesus wants you to.
Lindsey

#thuglife

Dear Readers,

This post goes out to all of my rap buddies.
So I have explained before how listening to rap makes me feel like a complete bad ass, and it is still soooooo true. Recently I was sent a playlist by a friend that goes through the history of rap (supposedly). The playlist is 8 hours and contains 117 tracks, so I have a lot of rap to listen to. 
I used to think that rap was shit and had no redemption, but now that I have listened to more then just the shit on the radio I am realizing how awesome rap can be. Rap has many redeeming points.
First of all it makes me laugh. Most of the music really has no point. Many of the song have awful meanings. They talk about sex, violence, and very immoral things, but when I think about how me, one of the whitest girls I know, is listening to this I can't help giggling (giggling is so white). Some of the music also has really good puns, awesome rhymes, and really clever metaphors. Mostly I find myself laughing while listening to it.
Next ties into the first. Sometimes rap is like really good poetry put to beats. Okay sometimes, it is just shit. It is just cuss word after cuss word, and that is really good for nothing more then giggles. But when the song has real meaning and is really well written it is really hard not to like it. 
For another I really enjoy feeling like a thug. I am not trying to racist or offensive here. I just enjoy listening to music that is not considered the norm for white teenage girls. Its like a shock and aw thing. When you start singing rap when it comes onto the radio you give your friends a little fright. Its fun. 
Overall rap is pretty awesome. You have to listen to good rap though. Remember that rap like all of other kinds of music has good and bad songs. So stop listening to the shit that is only on the radio and check out some good stuff! Come join me and feeling like a thug. 
#thuglife
Lindsey  

Get Off Your Ass, Go Out There, and Live the Shit Out of Your Life!

Dear Readers,

Tonight was a pretty legit night. I did a lot of stuff. Thanks to Ronald Reagan I had an excuse to eat ice cream. I chilled with my friends. And I was continually reminded that in 1 month, yes exactly one month dear readers, I will be leaving.
This week has kinda been a shitty week. I was on a high from the concert at the beginning of the week, and then everything went down hill. I got really tired. I got really lazy. And I got really busy. That combination has always preceded a melt down on planet Lindsey.
Also every shitty feeling was accompanied by the fact that this is basically going to be the rest of my life. Working. And working sucks. I hate going to work for 10 hours everyday, and then on weekends working at least 5 hours a day. It is really the pits. How people have been doing this for centuries I have no idea.
I am really starting to miss being a child. I am starting miss being able to take naps in the afternoon, carry around stuffed animals everywhere, have a mom to make all of your lunches, and to not have any worries but who you were going to play with on the playground. Why I ever decided to grow up is beyond me.
So overall it has been sort of a depressing week.
But then tonight I decided to read the 1000 Awesome Things blog again. There is just one post that I cannot get over. It literally speaks to me. Yes, the words literally jump of the fucking page at me and ambush my ears. For some reason it makes my sucky life seem less sucky.
It makes my step back and look at my life and realize about how pretty damn good it is. I complain and bitch about how I hate working and how this summer sucks. I have a very cynical view of life, and everything has a gray tinge to it.
And although I feel like I am going crazy, my life really couldn't get better. This moment right now is the youngest I will ever be. This fleeting moment might be the last one like it my life. My short short life.
Think about it. Compared to how long the rock we live on has been going around the sun, our lives are very short. You have maybe 100 years. Maybe. Each day you are getting older. Each day you are closer to the day you die. That sucks.
But each day is also another day to do something new. To go out and live the hell out of your life. Each day is another day to make something out of you short time on this planet. Each day is another day to fall in love, the eat pie, to have fun, to stay up late, to sleep in late, to have a shitload of new experiences, to read another book, to watch another movie, to have one more conversation with a close friend, to mark one thing off your bucket list. Each day there is something new. Even the most shitty days of work have redemption because the bed just feels so much better when you finally get there.
So even though you may be stuck in a rut. Even though you may see no light at the end of the deep dark tunnel, trust me there is one. Life is not all awful. You may not be able to nap or carry around stuffed animals, but with again comes privilege. You can smoke, drink, buy things of infomercials, vote, get married, watch R rated movies. Remember that when you are feeling shitty.
Life is short, but it is good. So go out in live. Yes, work sucks, but work isn't life and don't let it be. Remember that you only have a short time. Use it wisely my friends.
So dear readers get off you ass, go out there, and live the shit out of your life.
Lindsey

5 Awesome Things

Dear Readers,

Recently I found one of the best blogs on the interwebs. Its called 1000 Awesome Things. Here is a link. http://1000awesomethings.com/ I totes recommend checking it out! Now don't go ditching me, and never read my lame ass blog again. I need all of the readers I can get!
I was inspired by this awesome blog! I do not have 1000 things to tell you about, or the time or hand strength to type them all out. So I will tell you about 5 things.
1. Freshly shaved legs. Sorry some of these may only apply to the women of the world, but I bet men feel the same way about a soft smooth face. There is nothing better then shaving you legs, putting lotion on them, and then just running you hand up and down the silky smoothness. It doesn't matter if you are just going to put on pj's and crawl into bed or going out for the night shaved smooth soft legs are always good.
2. Buying things you love. This normally applies to books, bags, and shoes for me, but it can apply to whatever you love. When I buy a new bag or a pair of shoes I want to wear them all of the time. I want to sit and bask in their glory. I pride myself in find such cute items. I praise my good shopping skills. I think about how awesome I am because I found such awesome things. There is nothing better then finding something you love and buying it.
3. Getting free stuff. I know the last one was about buying stuff, but getting free stuff is also equally awesome. All food and drink tastes better when it is free. All clothes feel more comfy when they are free. All activities are more fun when they are free. Just because something is free doesn't mean you need it, but when you can get the necessities for no cost it is just plain awesome.
4. The smell of books. Whether old or new I love to smell 'em. Books just always smell fantastic. If I met a man who smelled like books I think I would marry him on the spot. There is absolutely nothing better then cracking open a new book sticking you nose deep in the cover and inhaling with the vigor of a crack addict in need of their hourly fix.
5. Sweating and not caring about it. Call me crazy, but I think sweating feels awesome. When you let your self let go, and sweat with no care it feels awesome. Your pores are getting cleaned. You don't need that fancy pants face washes just sit in the heat for a while while all of the nasty toxins and dirt come out of your skin. I work at a pool, so I sweat a lot. I have just stopped letting it bother me. If I smell a little the over powering smell of chlorine will prevail. So next time when you are feeling a little under the weather or your pores are screaming CLEAN ME! sweat it out. Trust me you will feel awesome.
So stay awesome, dear readers!
Lindsey

My Weekend of Being a Harlot, Music Lover, One of the Few Not Drunk at the Concert, and a Receiver of Many Wonderful Free Things!!!

Dear Readers,

This weekend was full of wonderful rules that need to be shared, fun times, many racist comments and songs, and boys.
I went to a concert with three boys this weekend. Look at me being a harlot. Just kinding. There was no slutiness going on. One of the boys was my older brother and the other two were good guy friends.
We went to the Basilica Block Party in Minneapolis, and it was fucking fantastic!
So let us start with the rules/life lessons you all need to know!
This is something I learned not from personal experience, but from observation. If you plan on wearing a whit dress, skirt, or shorts or need to wear nude or white underwear. And yes you do need to wear underwear. You never know when it will rain or you will get wet, and when white clothes get wet they turn see-through and a black tong is just not going to cut it underneath you white pants. So take this to mind. Learn from other people's stupid mistakes!
This is from my own personal experience. Iced coffee is not good to drink at 2 in the morning. I made this mistake. Here is where you can draw from my mistakes. We left Friday. Thursday night I decided to have a sleep over with my cosmic bitches before I left for the weekend, and we did not sleep. At 2 we decided it was coffee time, and then when I tried to go to bed at 4 I could not do it. I got a totally of two really shitty hours of sleep. Then when I woke up my friend from the south decided to make us breakfast. Another awful mistake. I ate bacon, fried potatoes, and biscuits and that food did not sit well in my stomach that had been on a diet for two weeks. I felt like shit. It was awful. It didn't help that I was literally sick from the lack of sleep. But eventually after a day of not eating I felt much better!!
Here is a tip for all of you girls out there! Don't expect guys to be excited about a cute bag. We had time on Saturday to head of the Mall of America. I went to one of my favorite stores and got a super cute bag, but there was no one there to appreciate it. I was sad, so I texted all of my girls. They freaked out with me, and it was all good. But I still really love that bag, David so don't judge me even though I have said it about 15 times. (I have thought it so many more time.)
So my weekend started out with me feeling like shit and being really tired, but after a ten minute nap in the car and some Flight of the Concords music I felt a lot better and ready for some awesome music. Once at the concert I sweated like pig, received 10 extra food tickets I did not pay for, had an unexpected shower from the rain, drank some free diet coke, and had a great time watching one of my favorite bands. Friday night I got an ample amount of sleep, so Saturday I woke up refreshed ready to have a great day! I had a doughnut for breakfast (much better on the system then bacon and fried potatoes), went to the mall bought shoes that I thought were going to be fifty-two dollar but were actually twenty, a lot of lotion from bath and body work on the buy three get three free sale, and a really really really cute bag, saw some men of African decent dancing like thugs in the mall, went to the concert, watched one of my other favorite bands, shared some laughs with my friends, had beer spilled on me multiple times, bought a sweato shirt, drank more free diet coke, and went to sleep. Today I woke up got in a car, went to the biggest candy store in Minnesota, and now I am writing really long possibly run on sentences that describe my weekend.
It turned out being so much fun! I would totally do it all again!!! I don't know if the other people on the trip felt the same way, but I don't really give a shit if my feelings are mutual I am a narcissist after all. It's all about me and my happiness. And right now I am pretty damn happy. I could use a back rub from an attractive man, but that might have to wait till I find one. And of course, dear readers, blogging just makes the day even better!
So got out there be harlots, wear white or nude underwear with white bottoms, don't eat Southern breakfast,  sleep more, listen to great music, care about your happiness too not just everyone elses, enjoy life, and most of all listen to and live by the rules, my rules.
Lindsey

R.I.P. Nora Ephron

Dear Readers,

Last night was a chick flick night. I watched two of my favorite movies. Sleepless in Seattle and Julie and Julia.
It just so happens that both of those movies are directed by the same person. Nora Ephron. She also directed other greats like You've Got Mail, When Harry Met Sally, and Bewitched. I love all of those movies. If I was going to sit down and have a chick flick day I would not watch shitty movies like the Notebook, or any other movies based of Nicolas Sparks books, or any new stupid chick flick like the Vow or Charlie Saint Cloud. I would go with the oldies but the goodies. If you have never seen a 90's chick flick movie get on because you are missing out on a lot!
Nora Ephron movies are the best!
My movie night was partly because I was bored and hadn't seen either of those movies for about a month, but also because on Sunday morning the television told the the great Nora Ephron had died. She died on last week Tuesday.
I can not pretend that I knew Nora Ephron or that I had any special connection to her. I actually didn't know that she had directed a lot of my favorite movies until I watch a segment on her on Sunday Morning on CBS. So really I have no reason to be sad that she died. 
But her movies are the movies I grew up. I can not count the times that I have sat on the floor at my fathers feet and watched Sleepless in Seattle. I can not remember the first time I watched You've Got Mail, but I know every scene. I can not tell you how many tears I have shed while watching all of these movies. There is something about a Nora Ephron film that gets me. 
These movies aren't full of shit. The loves stories aren't unbelievable and super out there. There are normal people who are falling in love with normal people. They are cute. They are the type of love that every person should have at least once. Some how Nora Ephron captured this in her films. She made chick flicks that weren't just thrown on the shelf and forgotten, she made classics. 
Again I should not pretend to know to much about her, but if she was the woman her movies reflected then she deserves all the respect in the world. 
So get off your lazy ass and watch a Nora Ephron film today. You will understand why I cry at the end of every one, why I can watch them over and over again, and why even though I never knew Nora Ephron I am sad she has passed away. 
Lindsey