The "L" Word

Dear Readers,

Soooo.... it's coming up.
Valentine's Day.
The day that most girls in relationships look forward to and most single girls dread.
I am one of the weird single girls who loves Valentine's Day. I have already mailed out and made about 20 cards. My apartment has been decorated for about a month. I have plans with some chocolate cake and the couch on Thursday.
I personally believe that Valentine's Day is not just for couples. It is for love. I have a lot of love in my life (a lot of hate too). I have my family and friends. I love them and I believe most love me.
Today however I don't feel in a love dovey mode. The "l" word of the day is loathing. I loath lots of things today.
Lets start out with the laundry. My laundry was in the washer and I guess some guy needed the washer so bad so he moved my shit. Don't move my shit. That is just rude. But that wasn't even the worst part. I washed a pen with my whites. It got on my chef coat. It won't come out. I want to kill small puppies now (not like I like puppies normally anyway). I loath the person who invented gel pens. They are impossible to get out of fabric (they also make it impossible to acetone wash checks) that dumb ass. I loath him. I loath laundry and pens and idiots.
Most of all right now I loath my roommate who thinks that her watching Ghost Adventures is more important than me watching some mind numbing performances on the Grammy's. Seriously? That is a super stupid show. It is soooo not important than me watching t.v. I kinda loath her in general and this is annoying. Because her stupidity I got bored and decided to write this angsty blog post, and for that you will probably loath me.
I am just full of loathing today and it's not very fitting for this week of love...
I just kinda hate the world.
uuuuggghhh....
loathing.
Lindsey

I am FAT not HANDICAP!!

Dear Readers,

The fat girl workouts continue. This morning I did some butt busting exercises. Now my buns and thighs kill!!! I am not super model thin yet, but I don't know if I ever want to get there.
Last night I was talking to my roommate about being fluffy. We are both wonderfully full figured women so she can relate to my tales. I was retelling the times of running the mile in physical education (which is the dumbest class ever). I was always last finishing the mile. The assholes who finished before me thought it would be just so kind to stand near the end and cheer me on. That was a mistake. When you make a fat person run the mile they won't be happy already, so don't stand there and mock them for running slow. You think you are helping by cheering on the pudgy kid coming in last but you're not, you're making it worse.
When I was in tracking in middle school (I was forced to be in the sport, it was not my choice. Fat people shouldn't run) the entire track team came to run with me. That was even worse than cheering. It's not like I had a bum leg or had some disease that cause my legs to be crippled. I could run just fine, but I was FAT not DISABLED. Being fat does make it harder to run, but no cheering or running with me would help. I just don't understand these people thinking. "Hey that fat girl is running really slow. I don't know if she can make it one more block to the school. Maybe if we have the whole team of 50 teens go run with her then she would run faster..." Yeah she will run faster because she wants to run away from the humiliation.
Next time you feel like it would be a good idea to cheer on a fatty rethink it. We don't need your acknowledgement of how slow we are. We are know we are walking up that last hill. We know that our time will be really slow and a few more seconds really won't both us. So don't even open your mouth. Don't even move to watch us wobble across the finish line.
To you fluffy people who understand me, carry on. You are perfectly fine. Running? Whats the need? People used to run from dinosaurs, wild animals, other people, and bad shit like that but now we have cars so there is absolutely no need to do that. If any one every tries to cheer you on look them dead in the eye and tell them to shove it because you are fat not handicap.
Lindsey

Fat Girl Work Out #3

Dear Readers,

I am really lazy. I haven't worked out for like 2 days. I guess my bed didn't want me leaving in the morning. My bed and I have a very good relationship going on and I didn't want to upset it by leaving to early. I was able to drag my lazy ass out of bed this morning. I worked out while waiting for laundry so that was like killing two birds with one stone I guess.
One good thing about working out early in the morning on weekends is that no one is in the gym. I can dance and look retarded and no one sees me. Expect maybe the front desk person watching me on the cameras... OH Well!!
I am still having a hard time resisting cupcakes and desserts so working out really has no affect but I am trying dear readers. Well right now I am still pleasantly plump so that's it.
Lindsey

Fat Girl Work Out #2

Dear Readers,

So I guess I am still going to try and workout. It probably won't do much if I keep eating everything I see, but baby steps right. Last night I was healthy and made a taco salad and then decided to top off supper with some bread pudding. Probably not the best choice.
My work out today was pretty much the same. Even the old man was there again. I think he will probably be there at the same time as me every morning. At least I found a new workout partner. Let's see who can get fit faster the chubby culinary student who inhales everything in sight or the old man who is probably a war veteran in a wife beater and a pair of Velcros. The odds are stacked against the budding chef. She won't stop eating and she is sticking pretty heavily to the cardio machines. The old man might win this round. He is doing a variety of exercises ranging from arm and leg lifts to walking on the treadmill.  This will be a close one. Tune in next time to see who belly starts shrinking.

Lindsey

P.S. One positive thing come from this though, I am using more of the monthly internet limit I get on my phone because I listen to Pandora more. Using what I pay for I guess.

Fat Girl Work Out #1

Dear Readers ( not like there are actually readers of this blog),

I went home for break to find out one of my guy friends from high school went off to college and dropped from a size XL to a size S in the three months I hadn't seen him. Also he found a girl friend.
I went to college gained like 20 pounds and developed a ulcer from stress and poor eating. The closest thing I have to a significant other it is the smiley face I draw on my toenails after painting them. I lead an extremely boring life. I came home last night from being at the school from 9 to 6 and instead of doing something fun like most college students are suppose to I sat on the couch watched a few hours of television while knitting. I stayed up until 10:30 to watch the Colbert Report and I thought I was staying up late. Safe to say my life kinda sucks right now.
After thinking about my idiot friend's life and my life I decided there needed to be some changes (either he needs to less cool or I need to lose weight and find myself a life). This is not the thing that people make when the numbers at the end of the year change. People never keep those. This is more of a challenge accepted. I saw my friend and said challenge accepted in my head. I can do that. Losing weight isn't hard; come on I can make a souffle, that's hard.
Keeping up with this challenge I went to work out thing morning. I live by the rule that you try not to be the fattest person in the gym, which is rather hard from me. I am not fat enough to have to waddle yet, but I fear if I gain anymore weight I will be walking like a penguin. I walked up the three flights of stairs to the top floor of my apartment where there is a workout room and got winded just doing that. When I finally got there I was pleased to see no one in building decided to lose weight this new year. After about ten minutes working out someone came into the gym. I was worried that they would be thin and make me feel even fatter, but it turned out to be an old man with a beer belly in a wife beater and jeans. Next to him I look like the athlete of the year.
So working out this morning wasn't so bad... I felt like I was going to throw up and now my legs kinda hurt. That's expected though so I shouldn't complain to much. My end goal is really to never get fat enough to be lifted out of my house with a crane. I think that is reasonable. Well I will keep telling you about my challenge cause I will win this one.
Lindsey

SEA DRAGONS!

Dear Readers,

They exist I have seen them with my own eyes. The only thing that separated me from the most majestic creature on the celestial ball was about two inches of very thick plastic. I was in the presence of the most interesting, beautiful animal that has ever lived.
The much cooler cousin of the Sea Horse, Leafy Sea Dragons, Phycodurus eques, live on the coasts of Australia (which just makes an already awesome place better). The have leafy like limbs that help propel them throw the water with such ease and also help protect themselves from predators that want to consume them to take in their awesomeness. Most of the Leafy Sea Dragons are an orange read color. There is also another type of Sea Dragon called the Weedy Sea Dragon. From the name I know that right now you can tell they are less cool. They don't have as many leafy appendages. They are however still dragons and that makes them cooler than any Sea Horse that have ever lived. 
They are a lot like Sea Horses in the ways they bred. The males are pregnant instead of the women. (Goodness I wish I was a Sea Dragon.) They also have the long slender mouth that they use for feeding. Unlike Sea Horses their tails cannot be used for gripping, but why would they want to stay in one place when they can glide effortlessly through the water so that all may gaze upon their beauty.  
There are only eight places in the United States that you are able to gauze upon the glory of these creates. The Shedd Aquarium, where I saw them, is one of these few places. If I were you I would get your buns over there and see these miracle. Sea Dragons like to be free and don't enjoy living in captivity. It is very hard to keep them in tanks. Attempts to bred them in captivity have failed. It is hard to obtain them because you can only own the ones bred in captivity. (I will however find a way to own one of these beauts someday.) 
Leafy Sea Dragons are the coolest sea animal ever. There is no argument. I have seen them with my own eyes  and even though they were a little blurry because of the tear (I might have started crying from the beauty) I could still tell that there is nothing that can compare to the shear awesomeness of these creatures. 
Lindsey  

I AM A NOVELIST

Dear Readers!
I just want to say that I wrote a novel. It isn't published and I don't know if it ever will be, but it is done!!!
I wrote 89 pages. I wrote a novel. I couldn't be more excited!!!! It is finished!
I just wanted to let you know that!
I would go on some rant about how you do what you want if you just put your mind to it, and that it true but right now I am kinda too excited to give you a motivational speech!!
I DID IT BITCHES!!!!!!
Lindsey

What I Live For

Dear Readers,

The graph that shows me how many people have visited my blog is starting to look like a dying heart beat Hopefully that is not a metaphor for my blog dying. This blog is the one I have posted the most on, the one I have spent the most time on, and sometimes the one I like the most. So hopefully I comes back tonight. Knock on wood for me.
Tonight after watching two hours of Anthony Bourdian on the Travel Channel I am feeling inspired to blog. If you don't know this you obviously don't read my blog enough, I am in culinary school. I love food. Food has always been a central point in my life. The kitchen has always been a warm inviting place. As a kid I remember sitting on the floor of the kitchen and playing with tubberware instead of the normal kid toys in my room. I have always loved eating, and if you know me it shows. Food is my life.
Recently I have been thinking about my favorite foods. My comfort foods. The food that brings me back to a different time and place. Mostly happy places. I have never had the most acquired taste in food. To be truthfully honest I prefer my cookies, biscuits, pie crust, and frosting made with butter-flavored Crisco. I enjoy eating Hostess snacks. Meatloaf is one of my favorite foods. I eat Ramen. I eat minute rice. I eat way to much canned soup. And I like it all. Like I said my taste is not fancy.
Sure I like a good steak. I would eat snails everyday if I had the choice. Bread and olive oil was pretty much all I ate last week. Somehow though I don't prefer that to my meatloaf, green bean casserole, and mashed potatoes. That is the food I was raised on. That is the food I live for. I live for the warm cookies coming off the pan. I live for the box cake mix my mom would make on my birthday. Those foods show up in my memory.
I have started to wonder why me, a culinary student, would rather eat meatloaf then steak tartar. And after listen to my chef talk and talk and talk I think I have a very good idea. Those were the foods I was raised on. Those foods shaped my childhood. Countless times I sat on the kitchen floor and watched my mother make cookies from memory. At a very young age she taught me how to make these cookies. Those memories are happy ones. Now that I am away form my mom, and don't have the opportunity to get hug when I need one or have a meaningful conversation face to face those cookies feel like the best bear hug ever. While eating a zinger I can flash back to the wonderful younger days what my siblings and I would tag along grocery shopping and my om would by us treat just to shut us up.
Those memories are what pushed me to go to culinary school. I could not imagine my life without food. I could not imagine my life without THAT food.
So people can say all they want about my love for Orange Dream Bars (the only food that has moved me to tears), meatloaf, green bean casserole, butter flavored Crisco, box cake mix, and Ramen noodles. It won't phase. That food was special to me then, and it is still special to me now. I cannot wait till I see my family again and we sit down for a good family meal.
I could take a turn now and encourage you to find the thing you live for, but I am gonna skip all that shit. You have heard that countless times. You have been told from a young age to do what you love. You know that by know. What I really want you to do is think back. Try and remember the food you grandma made for you. Try and remember your favorite Christmas cookie out on the table at the holiday get-togethers. Try and remember the special snack from the store, the midnight binge of cold roast with the fridge door open, the birthday meals of years past, the picnic in your neighborhood park.
Plain and simple food is important. You really can't live without it (no matter how hard you try fashion models). Food shapes you just like the movies you see, the tv you watch, the books you read, and the people you spend time with. So go out there dear readers and find what food is important to you. Get the recipe from your great Grandma before she kicks the bucket. Talk to your mom about the cake she made when you were younger. And if you prefer store bought don't feel bad about grabbing that bow of Ho-Ho's off the shelf. Be proud of your food. Live for the shit because God knows you can't live with out it.
Your always hungry blogger,
Lindsey

Damn Dogs

Dear Readers,

I recently moved into an apartment. I love my apartment. It may be shitty. It may be one of the worst places I have lived. And it might remind me of a hotel, which is alright. The only difference between my apartment and a hotel is that there are no maids, no room service, I have to make my own bed, and there are dogs.
I hate dogs. I have never liked dogs. While all of the young girl were obsessed with puppies and had their cute little dog posters, I became a fan of pigs. I have never liked dogs.
When people ask me why I am not really sure what to say to them. I have been thinking recently and I now have the top five reasons I hate dogs.
1. They smell. Dogs can't bath themselves. They can't take showers, so of course they have no hygiene. They don't smell good unless their owners bath them, and truth be told they do not do that nearly enough. As a result of their lack of bathing, they always smell. Dogs get into more crap then humans, but we shower ever day. Why don't they? They always smell awful. Especially wet dogs. Agghh... I shudder just thinking about it.
2.  They piss and shit everywhere. I was walking home today and I saw a dog just take a crap on a lawn and then the owner and the dog just walked away. Really?!?!?! I don't want to see human pull down their pants and take a good long piss on a wall so why would I want to see a dog do that? It's honestly ridiculous!!! It is gross! I don't want to smell your dogs shit, so pick it up or toilet train them!
3.  They are noisy. Have you ever been sitting enjoying the quiet, and then out of no where some damn dog barks and whines and you are no longer happy? It happens to me all the time. I can hear the yippy dog three apartment down, and it just ruins my day.
4. They ruin conversations and are extremely distracting. Okay here is another situation for you. You are standing outside having a nice conversation with someone and then a dog goes by. They stop what they are saying and look at the damn dog. That takes about three minutes. Three minutes of lost conversation. Three minutes of watching someone freak out over a damn dog that isn't even cute. Damn dogs.
5. They are ugly. No matter how many people tell me that dogs are cute I will never agree. They are ugly, and that's all there is to it.
So fuck dogs. I hate them, and now you know why.
Lindsey

No Hills to Frolic Through, Just a List of the Most Bitching Things Ever

Dear Readers,

Yesterday I was in a really bad mood. I had no faith in humanity. I was just about ready to forge into the forest and not look back. I was just about ready to abandon society and live off the land in some remote area. However today I feel more optimistic. After eating a fantastic breakfast, going outside, buying some chocolate, and watch many many hours of No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain the world has a wonderful shimmer to it. Everything seems bright and new. Hopefully there wasn't anything in the brownies I ate earlier...
In an almost response to yesterdays post I would like to share a few of my favorite things. I could start singing you A Few of My Favorite Things from The Sound of Music, but I don't have any mountains to frolic through I will spare you of that and just go on to listing shit.

• These have no particular order so I am going to use bullets instead of numbers. Okay lets start off with one of my life long loves. Food. I love food. I love all food. I even love shitty food because then it makes good food taste so much better. I just love food. I am more partial to desserts, but I love everything. I already mentioned that I watched and ungodly amount of No Reservations today. That show is amazing. It is basically following a super bad ass guy around the globe watching him eat some of the best looking food every made. My mouth was watering the whole time. So much food. So much meat. So much good looking stuff. I just wanted to eat everything. After watching the episode in Austin, I was tempted to jump on a plane and get my ass to Texas to eat some barbecue. I just don't think I could love food anymore. 
• My second love, books. I love reading books. I love buying books. I love looking at books. I love holding books. Most of all I love smelling books. I love books the way some sluts love men. I don't think I could live without them. I love books like a fat kid loves cake (thank you 50 cent for that wonderful simile). I can honestly not say anything more because I can't even put my love into words that describe it. 
• Now we are going to get a little more specific. Full belly laughing. What can be better then someone or yourself laughing whole heartedly? Throwing your head back and letting out a long strain of ha's feels so good. How can you not love your belly shaking and your sides feeling like they might cave in? There is nothing better for the soul (except fried chicken or chicken and noodles on mashed potatoes) then letting yourself laugh. Laughter is the best medicine, or is that morphine I am not really sure... But seriously laughing is the best!! 
• Warm clothes. I know that doing the laundry sucks. It sucks even more that I have to pay $1.50 per load. However, there is one reward. Being able to fold clothes just coming out of the dryer. Oh yeah. They are warm, smell good, clean, and did I already say warm? Dryer clothes are the best. If I had a dryer in my apartment I would put on my pj pants straight from the warm goodness, but since my laundry room is on the 9th floor and it is not just my laundry room I can not do that. Even though sometimes I am tempted to just strip down right there; come on who needs more encouragement to strip then a warm pair of undies and pj pants. 
• Your mom jokes. Honestly who doesn't love a good your mom joke at the right time. When the moment calls on it your mom jokes can be the funniest thing since people walking into poles. I got the best your mom joke story. This summer I worked at the pool. Of course some kids came to the pool that I hated, its only natural. Well this little shit was joking around with me and a co-worker one day. When my co-worker left to go out and guard, me and the little shit agreed the co-worker is a weird dude who does weird stuff. The little shit asks "what is the weirdest thing he has ever done?". A split second went by, and I honestly thought about some of the weird stuff he has done. But then the perfect thing crossed my mind, and before I could stop myself I said it. "Your Mom!!" I burned that kid so bad he had to go get some ice. It was great!! Most people I tell that to think I am awful and scold me for telling that to a kid, but this kid watches Tosh.O and has heard way worse then my harmless your mom joke. So if you are a nay sayer please leave and never come back. And if you don't like a good your mom joke every once and a while then let me show you the little x button at the top right of your screen. 

Well you have had enough of my absolutely hilarious and completely true ideas for the day. So children go out and live your lives by my rules, and remember that nothing beets food, books, laughing, warm clothes, and your mom joking. NOTHING!!
Lindsey

The New and Improved List of Grievances

Dear Readers,

College... Its the life! I sit on my ass, get up make some food, go to class, come back, some more sitting, maybe some cleaning, and eventually some mind numbing interweb surfing. Hooray for college!!
Well during my internet surfing today I found one of the most retarded things I have ever found on the internet. After that I boarded a train of thought of all of the things I hate in the world. So now I will impart my  superior wisdom and infinite knowledge to you.
I now start my list of grievances.
1.     Here is the absolutely stupid thing I found on the interweb tonight.

Okay... if you read it and realized you have felt like that before please click the little x thingy at the top of your screen and get the fuck off my blog. How the fuck do hunger and missing someone come together? They are totally different feelings. I just can't even think of anything more to say about this one. I just hate fucking idiots, so don't be one and I probably won't hate you.
2.     Besides people I hate elevators. My new apartment building has really shitty elevators. I swear every time the little bell dings to say it has reached my floor my life flashes before my eyes and I say a really quick pray apologizing for all of the awful things I have done. Here is the part where you are sitting there thinking 'why not just take that stairs. are you to fat to get off your lazy ass and walk down the stairs'. Well no jackass I am not that lazy, but my shitty apartment building has emergency exit only stairs. They do not go out to the first floor. They go out to the parking lot and they have an alarm on the door. It's like this buliding wants me to die, either from obesity or a fatal elevator crash. I hate elevators. What is wrong with stairs?
3.     Other blogs. While stumbling around on the internet I come across many many many many blogs. And most of them suck. My blogs don't suck. I am not stupid. Many of those shitty ass girl blogs could be written by spastic monkeys for all I know. They are just so awful. If I see one more blog about how some mom like being a stay at home mom, baking for her kids, making shitty crafts, and being a wife I think I might blow out my brains. The very same people polluting the internet with the sewage, corrupt the dessert industry. To many old washed up ladies think they don't need proper training to bake things. They know how to make frosting and open up a box cake mix, so that means they can jump on the band wagon and make money by decorating cakes and making desserts. I will let you in on a secret, you can't do that. Baking like any other profession takes training and experience. So until you go to school or study under some famous French chef stop! Stop making your dumb cupcakes, and please for everyone on the internet stop blogging about it.
4.      Okay I am just going to leave it at three things today because I basically hate everything and my hand would cramp and your eyes would dry out before I could list all of my grievances.
Please for the love of all that is good and pure in the world stop being retarded and follow me rules!!!!
Lindsey

Heaven?

Dear Readers,

So if you dim wits haven't gotten the memo I moved. To Chicago. I am in college now. Well not really college culinary school.
I only have 4 hours of class a day so I have a lot of extra time. Yesterday to pass the time I went out for a walk and found my new place in the entire world. Guess where it is!!
No it's not outside. Natures nice, but bugs suck and allergies are awful.
No it's not the huge McDonald's done the street because that would be to American.
No it's not the super awesome park with all the sculptures in it because that is a really far walk.
No it's not the kitchen because I am a women you sexist pig.
Okay are you out of goes dumb ass?
Its a book store!!!! If you haven't read my other blogs first of all you are retarded and second of all get on it. I have a very successful book blog, so that means I like reading. I have always liked store like Barnes and Nobles. Place where you can be surrounded by books, even the shitty ones. But the problem with Barnes and Nobles is it's expensive. I have bills to pay now. I have food to buy, so Barnes and Nobles doesn't fit in my budget.
My new favorite place is a used bookstore. The books are like 2 dollars for a paperback and 6 dollars for a hardcover. But the cheapness is not the best part. This book store is non-profit. All of the money they make they use to promote literacy in the Chicago area. Cool, right!?!?!? They have many programs for all ages. Mostly I think the children's programs are really cool because childhood is one time when reading is very important.
Besides being super cheap and really cool, the inside of the bookstore is exactly the place I would want to spend all of my time. There are old looking couches for costumers to lounge on.  All of the shelves are miss matchy and painted different colors. Stacks of books are scattered on the floor. Hidden jems are in every corner. It is absolutely perfect.
I was a little weary of finding places I like here, but now I have found heaven. I have found someone who took the paradise in my head and made it real. I am a soooooooooo fucking excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is easy to say that the volunteers there will be seeing a lot of me!
So I will leave you with this dear readers. Granted my new favorite place is not a library I feel this quote fits!
"I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library."
- Jorge Luis Borges, "Poema de los Dones"
Lindsey 

Couch Potato

So recently I have been watch a lot of television. With a lot of television comes a lot of commercials. I am going to share a few of my favorite commercials with you now.

So those are just a few, but they are great! They make me lol every time I see them. Remember to eat like that guy you know and live life by my rules. Enjoy them damn it!
Lindsey

A Little Science Lesson For You

Dear Readers,

My interweb has been broken for about a week. After a 43 minute long conversation with the Dell support people somewhere over in India it is now working!! Three cheers for Indian Call Center!!!
One week of college down! Woop Woo!! I am feeling quite studious, so it is time for a little chemistry lesson.
Incase you didn't know or you were dropped on your head as a child, baking is a science. It requires exact measurements so the correct chemical reactions happen. Without science bread would rise, cake would not have the wonderful spongy texture, and basically everything in the baking would would fall apart.

Well my first class in culinary school is a certification and basic culinary skills class. My chef is trying to encompass some of the science of baking, but he doesn't do very well... Now I am not an expert on chemistry, but I do remember quite a bit from my junior year chemistry class (thank you Mr. DZ!). My chef started talking about the pH scale and I knew some of what he was saying was incorrect so I did some resource on the blogosphere. Let hop onto the magic school bus and take a trip to science land!
So to the left is a wonderful diagram of the pH scale. The pH scale measures acidity and alkalinity. Most people know what acidity is. It tastes sour like lemons, sour patch kids, or war heads. That is common sense... or at least hopefully. The lower numbers on the pH scale represent higher acidity. Higher acid can burn through counters and shit.
7 on the pH scale is neutral. It wouldn't hurt you or anything for that matter. Water is normally a 7 or around there.
Higher numbers on the pH scale is know as basic. As the number increases the alkalinity increases and things become more basic. Soap is basic. Lye and ammonia are basic. Bases taste bitter. If you are bad child and a curse words has passed your pretty lips (unlike me) your mother might have washed your mother out with soap. If that is you, then you know what a base tastes like.
In baking and cooking you need to balance flavors. There are 5 basic flavors. Bitter. Umami. Salty. Sweet. Sour. I have no idea what the hell umami actually tastes like so don't ask. But as you can see the different pH has a different affect on food and its flavor.
Baking is a science. Don't forget that dumb ass. Live life by lindsey's rules and by the rules of science.
Lindsey

CHICAGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Readers,

Woop Woo!!!!!
I am moved!!
I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chicago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Incase you didn't get this from all of the extended words and exclamation points I am really excited to be in Chicago.
So all I wanted to tell you is that I am in Chicago!
Lindsey

The Peculiar Sadness of One-Upmanship Cooknies

Dear Readers,

This leaving thing weird. I leave for college in two days. And don't get me wrong I am SUPER excited to blow this Popsicle stand and move onto bigger and better things, but while eating some delicious One-Upmanish Cooknies with a few friends I hardly see I realized how much I will miss these people. No doubt I think they are stupid and no doubt that there are days when I hate all of my friends, but I will miss hating them. I will miss these people.
The first of my friends to leave left on Thursday. I went to say goodbye in the morning, and it took me almost all I had not to break into tears. Now I am normally not the most sappy sentimental person, but there are a few things that get me. Between leaving friends and the end of You've Got Mail I believe I have cried enough tears to last my life time. And then after the first heart break I didn't get a break my next friend left Friday. I watched the end of a japanimation series with him on Thursday night, and it hit me that I won't see these people till Christmas. Four months...
It's not like I won't make new friends, but it is weird that these people I have seen everyday for four years will not be in my life anymore. Weird....
So between the continual goodbyes, late night eating feast, and working I haven't had much time to think. And now this no so busy late night is throwing me off. I am looking back at this last week, this last year actually and thinking about all of the new friends I made, fun times I enjoyed, and all of the times I have hated the world.
Oh the cosmic bitches, who ate lunch with me almost everyday. I love you girls and I hope that we never lose touch because you guys complete me.
There are all of the boiz that I hung out with this year. No mother none of them are my boyfriend. Yes were are friends and they are boys. Enough said.
There was the whirlwind of lasts. Last band competition, the last high play performance, the last year in speech, the last All-State, the last Tulip Festival, the last parade, the last Dutch Dozen performance. The last day of school. The last time I will see many people I graduated with. The last day of work at the pool and library. The last... So many lasts.
But lets not forget all of the fun. The leaving for lunch, the many many study halls, my new friends at landsmeer and the bakery, the choir trip, the desert dust storm in Iowa, the mass amount of books, the new laptops, prom, after prom, Perkins, bonfires, swimming after hours, concerts, iced coffee late at night, many poor decisions, many good decisions, shopping with boys, starting my blogs, graduating, deciding on college. So many good things.
Even the bad things now somehow seem good. Somehow all of the years drama seems to wash away while sitting on the couch late at night. Everything seems good, and hopefully it will be.
If I had a glass I would raise it, but since I am not of age and it is like midnight I have nothing to raise. As I lift my empty hand into the air I toast to all of the success and unsuccess that I have had over this wonderful year. I toast to the friends I have lost and the friends I have made. I toast to the books I have read and the recipes I have tried. I toast to every post I have made. I toast to every hateful thought I have had. I toast to every hope/dream I have had. I toast to the future friends I am going to make. I toast to all of the fun times and and times I will have. I toast to the bittersweetness of leaving. I toast to the peculiar sadness of One-Upmanish Cooknies. I toast to LIFE.
Lindsey

Fun. Adventures With Train

Dear Readers,

Normally I don't do anything on Friday nights. My life has been constricted to the pool and books, but last night I actually had some fun.
It is Sanford Employee Appreciation week (so if you are a Sanford Employee I really appreciate you), and they were having a free concert for the employees to appreciate them. My mother is a very appreciated employee so she received four free tickets to the concert. My mother gave the tickets to me so I could go with a few friends and I jumped on the opportunity because Train was playing. 
Oh Train. I have heard there music that is on the radio or in movies, so I was looking forward to hearing some new songs live. Well that didn't happen because it decided to rain. Let me give you a run down of the whole night and you will laugh at my very Fun. adventure.
My friend Virginia was driving. She came to pick me up from the pool cause I was working. Then we went to get my other friends, then we went on our way to Sioux Falls because that is where the concert was. While driving we started talking about the new song Whistle by the asshole Flo Rida, and the next song that played on the radio was Whistle. That was just the start of many coincidences.
My mother had so kindly printed out  map for us to follow, but we didn't go the same route so when we got to the city we were very confused. Thank the goodness for my new smart phone because otherwise we would not have gotten there. Once there we parked the car and had to shut off the radio in the middle of a song we wanted to listen to, but we wanted to get over the stage before Train played. While walking over we crack a few jokes about how the concert won't be Fun. (like the band Fun.) because its Train. Some crappy opening band was playing when we arrived. By some miracle the sucky band said there were only going to play one more song before Train came on because some bad weather was brewing and they wanted us to see and actually good band (I am not sure if Train falls into that category).
Train comes on and starts playing. They started with 50 Ways to Say Goodbye or something like that. I already mentioned that I was with some named Virginia. Well Train has a song called Meet Virginia, which is like super old and hardly known. But amazingly they played it, and Virginia started freaking out. After a few more songs, they announced they were doing 3 more songs because of the storms coming. Drops of Jupiter, Hey Soul Sister, and Drive By were my guesses and I pegged them all! So the best coincidence/cosmic fate/weird thing of the night was at the end of Hey Soul Sister they started playing part of We Are Young by Fun. All of our mouths were so wide upon in shock that a tiny army of toy soldiers could have marched out. It was crazy because we had just been joking about how the concert was not Fun. It was crazy.
So after the three more songs we all left. While waiting to pull out the car next to was listening to the same station as us, so we jammed out with some complete strangers. Right after we pulled out of the parking lot a down pour started. We got on to the Interstate. We were all kind of freaking out, but it turned out okay. We didn't die. The storm eventually stopped.
To keep ourselves awake because we were off the adrenaline high from the storm we stopped for some coffee at McDonald's. The McDonald's was a FANCY McDonald's. It was legit!! Super fancy! I bet the even had Fancy Ketchup.  But McDonald's coffee is shit. It tastes like syrup, so don't get coffee when you go there. Stick to the pretend healthy smoothies.
After all of that we finally made it home. Everything turned out just peachy. It turned out to be Fun.
Lindsey

The Strange Thing About Late Night Revelations

Dear Readers,

So you know when you just can't sleep. Your mind just refuses to rest. Its about 1:30 in the morning and your just about sick of being awake.
But then something happens. You have a late night revelation. Your mind jumps, and you find yourself wide awake again and ready to think in a deep philosophical way. Normally songs spark my late night thinking sessions. But it could be anything. Don't lie to me dear readers this has happened to all of us. We have all had those moments late at night were we feel like geniuses. We have all wanted to world to know our late night ramblings. Or am I alone in this...
I am hopefully not alone. Doesn't everyone feel like the they are the shit, the bee's knees, the cats pajamas, all that and a bag of chips, the best thing since sliced bread at least once in their life.
Well if you haven't felt this way, you have the right too!
A little bit of confidence busting in good for the soul, just like fired chicken and chocolate. Sometimes your ego needs a little stoking. Maybe staying up late and feeling like you know everything is what you need. Maybe its winning an argument. Maybe its doing what you want when you want to. Maybe its breaking small rules that make you feel like a bad ass. Maybe its finally deciding that you don't give a shit what others think of you. Whatever it is find your late night revelations. Stroke your ego. Maybe someone will call you stuck up, but hey you need it. Just like you need fired chicken, bacon, chocolate, grape koolaid in the living room, rap music, late night revelations, and a good ego stroking. You deserve this. So tonight dear readers not only am I the bee's knee but you are too.
Lindsey

Great Day

Dear Readers,

So there are some days I wake up and I feel like I need to start in on the Great Day SNL skit song. I know the video is super old, but some days I feel like this.

I feel like I just snorted a shitload of crack and the day is going to be great.
I did not actually snort crack, but after getting a new phone, new glasses, and finding out it's Harry Potter's birthday I was pretty pumped.
Not to mention I went to the movie Moonrise Kingdom last night and it was awesome!!!!!
Also I have 8 days left of work and 15 days till I move!!!
So today has been a pretty great day.
Happy Birthday Harry!
Lindsey

Countdown.

Dear Readers,

I have started a college countdown. I would like to let you know dear readers that there are 17days till I leave.
17 days till I move to a new city.
17 days left of living with my siblings.
17 days left of not having to pay rent.
17 days left of not paying for my food.
17 days.
I am super pumped!!!! So hopefully these last 17 are the shit!
Lindsey